if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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