I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
