I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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