I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
