Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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