I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
