I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
