when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
