He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize