dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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