The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
