Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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