the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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