dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
this will be a night to untag.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize