last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
