But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
