No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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