I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
