I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
