Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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