; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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