Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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