What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
