Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
