gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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