Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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