How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize