Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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