I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
