i don't like sucking hair
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
