Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
