my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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