Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
