The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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