thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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