brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize