Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
