Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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