i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The ass gains better be worth it
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