We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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