3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
What drink are we having for lunch?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
