I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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