I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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