I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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