Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize