Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
