he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
