He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I forget how to act sober
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
