mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
