i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
