i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
