it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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