just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
