we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
