he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize