A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
