You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
