Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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