I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
