so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
