using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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