Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I am one with the molecules
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize