problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
