I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
