I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize