PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
