Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize