At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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