; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
