all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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